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The Previous Owner
By TRACY WRIGHT
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One of my neighbors was showing his boat to a prospective buyer. I won�t tell you what type of
boat it was for fear that he might recognize it as his and come to me demanding a share of what
I was paid for this article. As I labored over my brightwork in the hot August sun,
I overheard the phrase, "Oh, that was done by the previous owner.
This sentence is almost always used as an excuse for some shortcoming with a boat. If the previous owner has done something good, the sentence will begin with the phrase; She also comes equipped with� or �You�ve got to see this...! Leaving the matter ambiguous as to who was the ingenious chap responsible for the bit of brilliance in question. All boats have a previous owner. This is the person about whom you shake your head and wonder what they were thinking when they varnished this or wired that. This is the person you look down your nose at when reading the long list of recommendations at the end of the survey. As well as curse when preparing to embark on the self-righteous task of �whipping this scow into proper shape�.We all spend an abundance of time, money sweat and aggravation on these slow boats to poverty. By gum, we�re entitled. For those who are able to chase a new boat fresh off the showroom floor, the previous owners will be the designer and builder. The mark of these two will always be on a boat, no matter how long she sails. When you find yourself wondering what they were thinking? They put some crucial device in a catacomb so deep in the bowels of the boat that a coal miner would be afraid to go there. When you finally do reach the device in question, the bones of several dead canaries are scattered about attesting to the efforts of all those who have come before you and perished in the attempt. The designer and builder are the ones being judged when it is asked of a boat if she points �well, if she has good sea-keeping ability or if she has a, forgive the term, commodious head. A design is what it is, good or bad, and a lay-up schedule, once executed, can never be changed. Ninety-nine point nine-nine percent of all boats in any given area have had more than one owner in their lifetime. Since the advent of fiberglass, boats just don�t rot like they used to. Each owner of any given boat has done some maintenance, improvements or alterations. Chances are that when these alterations or �improvements� are viewed, one is led to wonder why hand and power tools do not require licenses like automobiles and airplanes. Cabinet joinery work that looks like It has been done with a temporary stick-on tattoo; or some bit of wiring that not only looks like a bird's nest but is actually serving as one, and you have to wait before fixing it until the eggs hatch.Sometimes the previous owner will alter a boat by means of neglect. A good sign that this is the situation is when the first time you see the boat you think to yourself how much you like a hull that is deep green. Then, you get closer and realize the hull is not supposed to be deep green. Alterations by means of neglect usually involve a lot of plant life. Potted plants on the deck can make a boat look homey Saplings growing out of the deck are another matter. If you Find yourself preparing to clean the bilge and the first thing you reach for is a machete, or you find out your boat is on a list of federally protected wetlands, you have a boat whose previous owners have altered her by means of neglect. I have owned my boat almost five years. When I bought her she was 16 years old, old enough to drive but not old enough to drink. The drinking would be left to me and, since she has an autopilot, she can drive herself. In the almost five years we have been together I have had much experience with the handwork of the previous owner. The curious thing, however, is that more and more often the previous owner�s me. When I start some project that involves the undoing of a previous project I say to myself, "I�d like to find the idiot who did this!" And for once, find him.The worst is a visitation by the ghost of Christmas future. You are in the midst of a project. The handiwork of the previous owner has been stripped away and summarily chastised. The proper seamanlike installation has begun, when you begin to sense another presence nearby This is a visitation by the ghost of all future owners, spouses, surveyors, brokers, friends, family and passersby who will see your work and have something to say about it. None of these people are physically present when the project is planned, the Materials are paid for, or the itch of fiberglass mixed with sweat is driving you to the brink of despair. Nevertheless, the ghost is there, looking over your shoulder, shaking its head and quietly tsk-tsking to itself. Your name is now on the boat and you will be judged. Some fault will almost certainly be found and you will be a boob, like all who have come before you. The good news is that all those who come after you will in turn suffer the same fate. What it ultimately comes down to is that the people who design and build a boat are merely manufacturing a canvas. Everyone who owns the boat paints their own picture on it, dismissing the old one as inadequate and eventually being dismissed themselves. Unless the boat is given a Viking funeral, we are all doomed to the rate of being "the previous owner" � |